On Bed Rest, but not Life Rest...SOP!

So technically, I'm supposed to be on bed rest because my last two wisdom teeth were surgically removed on Dec. 30th...hooray! And now I know what it really means to be bored. Even with access to the internet, tv, movies and books, being in bed all day just sucks. Plain and simple.

And yet, there are simple things that I noticed today that gave me a little smile. Upfront I'll apologize because they aren't the most exciting things in the world, especially keeping in mind that they're all things from my apartment...but these are happy details of my life. Enjoy!


Not to keep bringing it up or anything but....she makes me smile alllllll the time. She doesn't even have to do anything! But really what gets me is that she is a 9.5 month old puppy, and she should be bouncing off the walls - but she sees me stuck in bed and she decides she's going to join me. I don't ask her to get in bed with me at 2 in the afternoon, she simply seeks the comfiest spot on the bed and makes it her home. She loves me :)

Another smile moment: My parents brought me popsicles to help with the swelling. They are such great people. Normally they would gently chide me, telling me to stay away from sugars and carbs (??? does ice cream have that? I don't know - I don't care), and they would suggest I eat a grape, or a cube of cheese lol. But today, just because, I get to eat popsicles, guilt-free. Life is good!

Now this is my random moment of pride. This was one of my former students, I helped her prepare for the IELTS exam to see if she could get her visa to study in London; by the looks of it our hard work paid off! I'm proud to see that she made it, and that she is going on her own adventure. This means so much for her future - I'm glad to have had my hand in it. 

And lastly, Flowers. Sun Flowers to be exact. My parents brought some home while I was asleep (I think?) And apart from their off-beat beauty, what really made me smile was...

How much they look like Wall-E! 

Like I said before, it's always about the perspective you choose to take. I think Playstation got it right with their new motto, "Live in A State of Play." Life is full of boring, inconsequential moments that we could definitely allow to break us down (think Chinese water torture - one miniscule drop hitting the same spot will eventually wear away at your sanity??). But if we live in a "State of Play", we win the game. We are on the court, we are playing full out, and we are seeing more than most take the time to do. So try it! For the next couple days, live in a state of play...I double dog dare you to!

2010: A Year in Review

*I wrote this the morning of December 31st, 2010*

As I sit here holding ice to my face and hoping that the swelling in my jaw goes down drastically by midnight tonight, I can't help but think about the year 2010 and what other changes (minus two less teeth) it brought to me.

To be frank, and not Laura (lol Sami lame joke but yes, I'm stealing it), 2010 was the year that brought me back to life. Since the tender age of 15 I was caught up in a whirlwind of ridiculous hard-headed ignorance and determination, thinking that I had all the answers and not allowing anyone else to tell me otherwise. Now, that's not so weird since, you know, I was a teenager and all...and teenagers are in essence people who act like babies if they aren't treated like adults. But I defer. The point is, I stunted my own growth, I didn't flourish how I should have, and basically I was stuck.

In 2010 I made the most drastic decision I probably ever had on my own. Put clearly, I am not the kind of person that can picture themselves really far in the future. What will I be doing in 6 months? 2 Years? 5 Years? HMMMM?! I have no idea. So on December 31st, 2009 I made the decision that I was leaving. I was quitting my job, I was leaving behind my pets, my debts, my friends and my heart ache. I was skipping out of town and running off to Colombia. Colombia, a logical step because my family is from there, but still an alien place to me because I'd never spent more than a month there visiting. But dangit I was going!

2010 was the year that Colombia opened me wide. 

I got here (I'm still here) and from day one I had to work it out like a soldier. I found myself two jobs, I started capoeira, I made a million friends, I went out, I paid my way. I moved. I moved again until I was finally living on my own. I saved up all the money and paid my own way to Brasil for 20 days. I learned how to move around a strange city, not having my own car. In a city where the constant fear is that someone will rob you, I walked the streets at night - alone - I caught the crowded bus - alone - I got lost and found my way - alone. I ate strange food, got sick, and then got better. I have an iron stomach now and have fallen in love with a thousand kinds of soup. I've camped out, hours from the city, next to a river, in torrential rains. I've caught intermunicipal buses out of the city to join people on trips and found my way by myself without a cell phone and without knowing where my crew was. I've lost weight, I've gained it back, but I lost my shame, which is infinitely more important, and I've gained the certainty that weight loss is actually something that I'm capable of - pretty easily actually when I put my mind to it. I learned to speak like a rolla, a cachaca, like someone from the city of Bogotá. Going from pure embarrassment in speaking, to getting myself registered with the social security service, getting my health insurance setup, applying for a pension plan, and a million other things that normal people do when they get their life together - all in spanish. I don't care anymore, I know I still don't speak it perfectly, but it won't ever stop me again from saying what is on my mind. 

I've been kicked in the face and had to get stitches, a first for me (both the kick and the stitches), and gone back to train capoeira 2 days after my accident. I've had my eyes opened. Sometimes I still cry from the overwhelming emotion of being able to see the world with my own two eyes and no aid from glasses or contact lenses. Laser eye surgery, which I was terrified of, was one of the biggest blessings I received this year. I've lost touch with people, I've made new friends here in Colombia - a whole bunch in fact. But curiously, being away from VA brought me closer to people I vaguely knew there before, or hadn't met at all. Unbelievably, I can think of a couple people off the bat that I have grown so close to that it's hard to believe I may have met them only once in my life for 2 hours on a random Friday or I haven't seen them in over a year + and didn't really see them much before. 

2010 brought my grandparents back to me. All 4 of them have been sick in some way shape or form, but they have each come back to me. Epa was in the hospital at least 4 times with respiratory issues, and it was scary and jolting to see him so weak. But God saw fit to give him his health back and continue to be a rock for the family. Arturo was on the brink of death, not 20 days ago. Laid up in a hospital bed, sure that he was going to pass. But in moments like that is when you see the calibre of your family - all his children came to Colombia to show him that they care and that they would be there for whatever, no matter the cost. On Dec. 23rd he celebrated his 87th birthday, and danced merengue with me. My God is a good god, He allowed my grandfather to return to us, and give this life another shot. My grandmothers, though not nearly as sick, have both dealt with their fair share of pain. I simply give thanks for the year 2010 because it gave me the opportunity to support my family and get to know a set of people who were, in some ways, complete strangers to me. 

2010 was the year that brought my faith back. God brought me through 7 plus years of silly unnecessary drama, just to show me that in the end He has so much more planned for my life. I know now that there is life beyond. 2010 was like discovering a new planet - you think you already know all that is out there, and then you discover this new place and see that things you never even imagined exist beyond the walls you built up around you. 

God is good, and I can't wait to see what lies ahead in my path, the one he has given me. I have aspirations, I have new dreams, new goals, and a new attitude. Even if things don't work out they way I would like them to I will be happy knowing that He's got it under control and the reason for disappointment is a good one.

2010 brought me back to Earth, back to this life, back to the open possibility of a wonderful new future.

2011 will be so much more than that. 2011 is my life, brought back to me and ready to be lived and lived well. I can't wait.

So to all of you, I just want to wish you a happy and prosperous 2011, and to remind you that no matter what you are going through or have been through - there is always more out there for you. Life goes on, you just have to know how to look for it and take a crazy chance on it. Know to love yourself, be the change that you are looking for, nobody else can make you happy because happiness comes from your own soul.

You have one life, live every day with a purpose, and remember to enjoy life as you are getting to where you want to go. If you always live for tomorrow, you will never appreciate today, and when you get to tomorrow you will be left disappointed. So...

Even if I never talk to you, have never talked to you or will never talk to you, I pray with all the fervor and heat of my heart that you will know that you are amazing and unique and you made an impact this year. I love you, whoever you are. Thank you for being part of this world.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011!!!! 

The Little Things Saved My Life

So, we're all starting a new year. Hopefully, this one will fulfill all our expectations - or at the very least blow 2010 out of the water. But like so many other things in our life, we need to not get too ahead of ourselves and be realistic. Maybe the worst thing that will ever happen to us will happen in 2011, there's just no getting around it. You might get some bad news, or have to go through some tragic event - who knows?

That's not the point. The point is simply that everyday God provides us with small details, the kind that save our lives. Do you know what I mean? I mean those random things that make you smile when you don't really mean to. Like a little kid running down the street with adorable little boots, or an old man sharing a laugh with someone, or my dog scratching on my bedroom door. It's all about perspective folks!

And that's what I'll be presenting here on a regular. The small details of life that keep us sane and joyful, things we weren't expecting and aren't in our plans, but that have been put in our paths to make sure we survive a little longer. I think it was best said in the 2006 Will Ferrell movie, Stranger Than Fiction:


   "As Harold took a bite of Bavarian sugar cookie, he finally felt as if everything was going to be ok. Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies. And, fortunately, when there aren't any cookies, we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin, or a kind and loving gesture, or subtle encouragement, or a loving embrace, or an offer of comfort, not to mention hospital gurneys and nose plugs, an uneaten Danish, soft-spoken secrets, and Fender Stratocasters, and maybe the occasional piece of fiction. And we must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties, which we assume only accessorize our days, are effective for a much larger and nobler cause. They are here to save our lives."


So friends, if you want to smile a little everyday, and remind yourself that it's the small and subtle which makes up the bulk of your experience - come and see. I'll post as often as possible.

This is my morning life saver...Negra waiting for me to get up and greet her. Everyday it's the same deal, and though nobody wants to get up and walk a dog first thing in the morning, her love for me and unmistakeable joy at being able to go out are no doubt signs that adopting this little girl was the best idea I've had in a long time.
Maybe we should all look towards a new morning with the same vigor as this chick, then we might take on the day with a whole new light.

Second up, though it's a bit more random, are my neighbors hanging out in front of my house cleaning their car in the middle of the afternoon. Why does it bring a smile to my face? One, because it randomly makes me feel like dancing in my living room, and two, because it causes nostalgia. I remember being in high school when this song came out - I remember how live we would get with our friends. Now, I could be annoyed that they want to play their radio so dag-on loud, but instead I choose to take it as an enriching detail of my day.

These were the little things that saved my life on the first day of this new year, 1/1/11. What were yours?