Thursday, January 27, 2011

With the Quickness!

Hey guys, quick post today.

Just have to be a little me-centered for a moment and say, I GOT A JOB!!!
Wee! I'm super happy and I just feel ridiculously blessed and favored. I know it's a tough market out there right now, so the fact that I was able to snatch up a quality job within 12 days of returning to the US is a pretty big deal.

But anyway, on with the show. Today there is a bunch of snow on the ground which is impeding me making a planned visit to Norfolk :( But I've always loved snow so that's okay.


What is the nice thing about this??? Because exhibit A surely says "this sucks":




Well, to be honest, this:






Negra's very first experience in snow! Do you remember what snow was like for you when you were 10? When you hoped beyond hope that it would snow so you could get out of going to school and could go sledding, make snow forts, snow men, and snow angels? Remember that? Well, I might not be running outside into the cold to do all that, but just reminiscing on that times makes me really happy. Even in a dark, cold moment we should seek to find the light side of things.
Things could always get worse. And you know what, if you're always the person who is optimistic and sees the good in a bad situation people will look at you and think maybe you're silly, but if you are always the pessimistic, dramatic, grouch, well - people will always think you're a cynic.

I'd rather be silly than a cynic any day.

Have fun and be safe out there guys!

Muah!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Sometimes you gotta switch lenses

Hi!!! Yes, I'm back after my very awesome trip to Manizales - I had an amazing time and I just have to say that if you haven't been there during the Feria, you definitely have to go!

So today I learned a great lesson about stepping back and reassessing situations from a different POV. If you had seen me this afternoon you would have said "Okay, I think I need to run for cover" because I was HEATEDDDDDDD. Like, I can't explain the level of mad I was. And all for such a stupid thing...Let me set it up for you:

My mother made the innocent mistake of throwing out my favorite pair of sneakers because they were dirty. Now when I say dirty, I mean FILTHY - but that's because I went paintballing in them on Monday and they were covered in mud. The thing is, those were my capoeira shoes. I went to Brasil in August 2010 which was a big deal for me because it was the first vacation I ever took that I completely paid for myself. I worked and saved for months to take that trip, and the only thing I brought back from Brasil for myself were those sneakers, so I could play capoeira. So they have a lot of sentimental value. Like, A LOT.



And that was precisely what my mother threw into the garbage, without asking me or telling me she did so.  My automatic reaction was this feeling of impotent rage at not being able to recover them, and I felt like I was slapped in the face. You see, I processed it as the following...[My mother could care less about my things, and now that I'm mad she laughs and says to not take it so seriously??? She doesn't give a rat's behind how I feel or what I think!!!]...so my interpretation was pretty much "My mom is the devil incarnate". LoL I'm ashamed to say it now, but it was a little kid's reaction.

I definitely had to take a breather and calm myself down after I realized what had happened because I felt so provoked and upset. But we are grown ups now, right? So we use our words and our inside voices :P

The point is, later in the day I had to go visit my mother's father in the hospital and he got emotional talking to me, telling me that the only thing I had in life was my mother and father and I should never endeavor to be too far from their sides. Afterward I went for a late lunch with my mom and her brother, Lucho, and we started talking about their childhood. It was rough because my mother's mother died during childbirth, and Lucho's mother married my grandfather years after that. The result was that my grandfather was left a widower with 5 children, and not knowing what to do, was very harsh with them and ended up splitting them up into different homes while he got himself back up on his feet. End result, some of his children resent him so much for sending them away that they don't talk to him, or just barely.

Now, connecting that back to my shoe drama. In a moment of anger, I make my mother the devil, I blame her for my pain, and I interpret her actions as malicious. The same way my uncles may have looked at my grandfather when they were young. If I choose to hold onto my interpretation, what do I gain? Maybe I get to make my mom wrong about something, maybe I can be her victim (and let's be honest, it's more beneficial to be the victim sometimes) and get pity and make other people call her wrong too. I get to be right! But...So what? I get to be right, but I don't talk to her? What kind of relationship do we have? You give something up when you make people wrong, you give up love, understanding and communication. Is that really worth it?



I know the situation is not at all the same, but I don't want to end up like my uncles who don't speak with my grandfather because of something he did out of pure desperation 45 years ago. That is far too long to hold on to something. Therefore, I choose to interpret things with a new lens today. If my mom threw away my dirty shoes, well dammit, who wants their kid walking around looking like a dump? She probably thought I wouldn't wear them anymore anyway. She only had good intentions. Plus, she didn't even know the whole Brasil/Capoeira connection, so who can blame her for that?

Today I encourage you to switch your lens. Try to see things from a better point of view. Honestly, what do we get from being offended and angry with somebody - especially somebody we love dearly? Personally, I don't think being right, or making someone wrong, is worth the head or heart ache.
So add that to the little things that save your life, maybe with just the right adjustment you can begin to see that there is hope for a better future, whether it be with a phone call, a replaced pair of shoes, or a simple knock at the door.

Every relationship is a journey we take, and every journey starts with a single step. So let's start on the right foot, shall we?

Monday, January 3, 2011

On A Rainy Day, Microwave Experiments

Today has been especially frustrating. Arguments with the family are never very uplifting. Neither are rainy days. But someone told me to smile because, well you know...Jesus loves you.
And they're right. One thing I've learned is that all that unnecessary drama just works for a higher purpose, but if you let your own selfish feelings get the better of you, you're missing out on another opportunity to love.

I'm leaving to go to the Feria de Manizales tonight...it's a 10 hour bus ride. Hence the bed rest for the past 4 days, trying to get that strength up! So I'll be out for a while. But I wanted to leave you all with a goofy experiment I tried with my momma this afternoon (after our argument). Letting go of bad vibes and moving forward is the only way to deal with such things.

So for your viewing pleasure, I present:
Coffee Mug Chocolate Cake or "The Internet Knows What It's Talking About"

Step 1: Mix questionable ingredients in a mug as your mother makes faces...


Step 2: Create sludge....


Step 3: Cook...




Step 4: Try it, give novice opinion.



(And yes, I revealed my swollen post-wisdom-teeth-removal face...don't I look wise?)

Step 5: Wallow in/eat your failure and enjoy! At least next time you can make it better...that's the great thing about mistakes, you learn from them. :)



Have a wonderful week loves! Remember to focus on the little things. I'll be back in a week's time to share my carnival experience.

Peace & blessings!
Laura

Sunday, January 2, 2011

On Bed Rest, but not Life Rest...SOP!

So technically, I'm supposed to be on bed rest because my last two wisdom teeth were surgically removed on Dec. 30th...hooray! And now I know what it really means to be bored. Even with access to the internet, tv, movies and books, being in bed all day just sucks. Plain and simple.

And yet, there are simple things that I noticed today that gave me a little smile. Upfront I'll apologize because they aren't the most exciting things in the world, especially keeping in mind that they're all things from my apartment...but these are happy details of my life. Enjoy!


Not to keep bringing it up or anything but....she makes me smile alllllll the time. She doesn't even have to do anything! But really what gets me is that she is a 9.5 month old puppy, and she should be bouncing off the walls - but she sees me stuck in bed and she decides she's going to join me. I don't ask her to get in bed with me at 2 in the afternoon, she simply seeks the comfiest spot on the bed and makes it her home. She loves me :)

Another smile moment: My parents brought me popsicles to help with the swelling. They are such great people. Normally they would gently chide me, telling me to stay away from sugars and carbs (??? does ice cream have that? I don't know - I don't care), and they would suggest I eat a grape, or a cube of cheese lol. But today, just because, I get to eat popsicles, guilt-free. Life is good!


Now this is my random moment of pride. This was one of my former students, I helped her prepare for the IELTS exam to see if she could get her visa to study in London; by the looks of it our hard work paid off! I'm proud to see that she made it, and that she is going on her own adventure. This means so much for her future - I'm glad to have had my hand in it. 


And lastly, Flowers. Sun Flowers to be exact. My parents brought some home while I was asleep (I think?) And apart from their off-beat beauty, what really made me smile was...


How much they look like Wall-E! 


Like I said before, it's always about the perspective you choose to take. I think Playstation got it right with their new motto, "Live in A State of Play." Life is full of boring, inconsequential moments that we could definitely allow to break us down (think Chinese water torture - one miniscule drop hitting the same spot will eventually wear away at your sanity??). But if we live in a "State of Play", we win the game. We are on the court, we are playing full out, and we are seeing more than most take the time to do. So try it! For the next couple days, live in a state of play...I double dog dare you to!

2010: A Year in Review

*I wrote this the morning of December 31st, 2010*




As I sit here holding ice to my face and hoping that the swelling in my jaw goes down drastically by midnight tonight, I can't help but think about the year 2010 and what other changes (minus two less teeth) it brought to me.

To be frank, and not Laura (lol Sami lame joke but yes, I'm stealing it), 2010 was the year that brought me back to life. Since the tender age of 15 I was caught up in a whirlwind of ridiculous hard-headed ignorance and determination, thinking that I had all the answers and not allowing anyone else to tell me otherwise. Now, that's not so weird since, you know, I was a teenager and all...and teenagers are in essence people who act like babies if they aren't treated like adults. But I defer. The point is, I stunted my own growth, I didn't flourish how I should have, and basically I was stuck.

In 2010 I made the most drastic decision I probably ever had on my own. Put clearly, I am not the kind of person that can picture themselves really far in the future. What will I be doing in 6 months? 2 Years? 5 Years? HMMMM?! I have no idea. So on December 31st, 2009 I made the decision that I was leaving. I was quitting my job, I was leaving behind my pets, my debts, my friends and my heart ache. I was skipping out of town and running off to Colombia. Colombia, a logical step because my family is from there, but still an alien place to me because I'd never spent more than a month there visiting. But dangit I was going!

2010 was the year that Colombia opened me wide. 

I got here (I'm still here) and from day one I had to work it out like a soldier. I found myself two jobs, I started capoeira, I made a million friends, I went out, I paid my way. I moved. I moved again until I was finally living on my own. I saved up all the money and paid my own way to Brasil for 20 days. I learned how to move around a strange city, not having my own car. In a city where the constant fear is that someone will rob you, I walked the streets at night - alone - I caught the crowded bus - alone - I got lost and found my way - alone. I ate strange food, got sick, and then got better. I have an iron stomach now and have fallen in love with a thousand kinds of soup. I've camped out, hours from the city, next to a river, in torrential rains. I've caught intermunicipal buses out of the city to join people on trips and found my way by myself without a cell phone and without knowing where my crew was. I've lost weight, I've gained it back, but I lost my shame, which is infinitely more important, and I've gained the certainty that weight loss is actually something that I'm capable of - pretty easily actually when I put my mind to it. I learned to speak like a rolla, a cachaca, like someone from the city of Bogotá. Going from pure embarrassment in speaking, to getting myself registered with the social security service, getting my health insurance setup, applying for a pension plan, and a million other things that normal people do when they get their life together - all in spanish. I don't care anymore, I know I still don't speak it perfectly, but it won't ever stop me again from saying what is on my mind. 

I've been kicked in the face and had to get stitches, a first for me (both the kick and the stitches), and gone back to train capoeira 2 days after my accident. I've had my eyes opened. Sometimes I still cry from the overwhelming emotion of being able to see the world with my own two eyes and no aid from glasses or contact lenses. Laser eye surgery, which I was terrified of, was one of the biggest blessings I received this year. I've lost touch with people, I've made new friends here in Colombia - a whole bunch in fact. But curiously, being away from VA brought me closer to people I vaguely knew there before, or hadn't met at all. Unbelievably, I can think of a couple people off the bat that I have grown so close to that it's hard to believe I may have met them only once in my life for 2 hours on a random Friday or I haven't seen them in over a year + and didn't really see them much before. 

2010 brought my grandparents back to me. All 4 of them have been sick in some way shape or form, but they have each come back to me. Epa was in the hospital at least 4 times with respiratory issues, and it was scary and jolting to see him so weak. But God saw fit to give him his health back and continue to be a rock for the family. Arturo was on the brink of death, not 20 days ago. Laid up in a hospital bed, sure that he was going to pass. But in moments like that is when you see the calibre of your family - all his children came to Colombia to show him that they care and that they would be there for whatever, no matter the cost. On Dec. 23rd he celebrated his 87th birthday, and danced merengue with me. My God is a good god, He allowed my grandfather to return to us, and give this life another shot. My grandmothers, though not nearly as sick, have both dealt with their fair share of pain. I simply give thanks for the year 2010 because it gave me the opportunity to support my family and get to know a set of people who were, in some ways, complete strangers to me. 

2010 was the year that brought my faith back. God brought me through 7 plus years of silly unnecessary drama, just to show me that in the end He has so much more planned for my life. I know now that there is life beyond. 2010 was like discovering a new planet - you think you already know all that is out there, and then you discover this new place and see that things you never even imagined exist beyond the walls you built up around you. 

God is good, and I can't wait to see what lies ahead in my path, the one he has given me. I have aspirations, I have new dreams, new goals, and a new attitude. Even if things don't work out they way I would like them to I will be happy knowing that He's got it under control and the reason for disappointment is a good one.

2010 brought me back to Earth, back to this life, back to the open possibility of a wonderful new future.
2011 will be so much more than that. 2011 is my life, brought back to me and ready to be lived and lived well. I can't wait.

So to all of you, I just want to wish you a happy and prosperous 2011, and to remind you that no matter what you are going through or have been through - there is always more out there for you. Life goes on, you just have to know how to look for it and take a crazy chance on it. Know to love yourself, be the change that you are looking for, nobody else can make you happy because happiness comes from your own soul.

You have one life, live every day with a purpose, and remember to enjoy life as you are getting to where you want to go. If you always live for tomorrow, you will never appreciate today, and when you get to tomorrow you will be left disappointed. So...

Even if I never talk to you, have never talked to you or will never talk to you, I pray with all the fervor and heat of my heart that you will know that you are amazing and unique and you made an impact this year. I love you, whoever you are. Thank you for being part of this world.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011!!!! 

The Little Things Saved My Life

So, we're all starting a new year. Hopefully, this one will fulfill all our expectations - or at the very least blow 2010 out of the water. But like so many other things in our life, we need to not get too ahead of ourselves and be realistic. Maybe the worst thing that will ever happen to us will happen in 2011, there's just no getting around it. You might get some bad news, or have to go through some tragic event - who knows?

That's not the point. The point is simply that everyday God provides us with small details, the kind that save our lives. Do you know what I mean? I mean those random things that make you smile when you don't really mean to. Like a little kid running down the street with adorable little boots, or an old man sharing a laugh with someone, or my dog scratching on my bedroom door. It's all about perspective folks!

And that's what I'll be presenting here on a regular. The small details of life that keep us sane and joyful, things we weren't expecting and aren't in our plans, but that have been put in our paths to make sure we survive a little longer. I think it was best said in the 2006 Will Ferrell movie, Stranger Than Fiction:


   "As Harold took a bite of Bavarian sugar cookie, he finally felt as if everything was going to be ok. Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies. And, fortunately, when there aren't any cookies, we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin, or a kind and loving gesture, or subtle encouragement, or a loving embrace, or an offer of comfort, not to mention hospital gurneys and nose plugs, an uneaten Danish, soft-spoken secrets, and Fender Stratocasters, and maybe the occasional piece of fiction. And we must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties, which we assume only accessorize our days, are effective for a much larger and nobler cause. They are here to save our lives."


So friends, if you want to smile a little everyday, and remind yourself that it's the small and subtle which makes up the bulk of your experience - come and see. I'll post as often as possible.

This is my morning life saver...Negra waiting for me to get up and greet her. Everyday it's the same deal, and though nobody wants to get up and walk a dog first thing in the morning, her love for me and unmistakeable joy at being able to go out are no doubt signs that adopting this little girl was the best idea I've had in a long time.
Maybe we should all look towards a new morning with the same vigor as this chick, then we might take on the day with a whole new light.



Second up, though it's a bit more random, are my neighbors hanging out in front of my house cleaning their car in the middle of the afternoon. Why does it bring a smile to my face? One, because it randomly makes me feel like dancing in my living room, and two, because it causes nostalgia. I remember being in high school when this song came out - I remember how live we would get with our friends. Now, I could be annoyed that they want to play their radio so dag-on loud, but instead I choose to take it as an enriching detail of my day.

These were the little things that saved my life on the first day of this new year, 1/1/11. What were yours?